We have a rat. It’s not quite what you think (that maybe we live in a pig sty and we have rats running amok) - they are behind the walls in the house - but it certainly isn’t pleasant, particularly if you and your partner are house proud germphobes.
On Saturday morning I entered the kitchen to find the wine rack and kettle pushed away from the wall, so I immediately panicked thinking I’d missed an incident as the boyfriend is not one to start impulsively cleaning in the early hours. I was scared to think that maybe the boyfriend had discovered a mouse hiding behind the wine bottles (I am used to cats bringing in their ‘gifts’), or worse... cockroaches. He then announced (and added he thought it was best to only tell me now) that in the night when he came to get a drink he’d heard a scratching noise behind the plastic inspection hatch - a small flat door that opens out into the kitchen to allow workmen access to part of a large water pipe which runs down the building. He opened it suspecting a mouse, and was admittedly horrified to find a large rat staring back at him – after a short squeal, he slammed the door shut.
Upon hearing his tale, I immediately commenced Operation Bleach to clean the entire kitchen, and went out to buy more dettol spray and scented candles. Despite my recent trauma with weevils in the pancake mix and now a rat in the void, I would like to emphasise once more that we are very (very) borderline-obsessively clean people. It is also a relief to know that the rat(s) cannot get into our living space unless he learns how to open an inspection hatch or chew through walls, but the seed of doubt had certainly been planted in my mind. Short of scrubbing domestos into the work top, I wanted to be sure that we could still consider ourselves as hygienically clean despite having a rat in close proximity and our kitchen now smelling like a hamster’s urinal. I called my Dad - stupidly - for empathy or advice on getting rid of it and he replied with 'well, you did say you wanted a pet!'. A dog, daddy, A DOG.
By the end of the day we were surrounded by scented candles, reed diffusers and those plug-in things which cost a bomb and had cancelled all our dinner parties over the next few weeks (oh the embarrassment!). We lodged a complaint with the building management and subsequently received notice of an appointment with ‘Budget Pest Control’ (very reassuring...). Hopefully we get this fixed pronto as there are only so many times we can eat dinner out to avoid prepping food in the kitchen but in the meantime, however, the kitchen is sparking clean.
the crazy happenings in my life