I wake up half way through the night to a loud, spine-chilling ringing sound. Fuck. It’s my alarm and it’s actually an eye-watering 7.20. I plaster on make-up and thank goodness I planned today’s outfit in advance or I’d have thrown on any random mach of clothes and leave the house resembling a child who’s decided to play in Mummy’s Dressing-up Box. I stagger down the road in heels I haven’t worn in over 2 years. There was a time I lived in towering high heels without a blister or a bunion, but by the time I get onto the tube I’m cursing the blood-sucking buggers.
The transport for London (TFL) site estimates my travel-time will take 1 hour 10, though I forget to consider one significant environmental factor. The London population. After several tube stations and hundreds of tube station stairs, I arrive in North London, only 2 hours later.
I arrive somewhat flustered - sweaty, crowed tube carriages and footwear NOT intended for a marathon of stairs are not the optimum recipe for the stylish London look. However, I am greeted in the office with smiles, and after Jessie, the lady I’ll be working for, introduces me to the rest of the team, she shows me to my own (MY OWN!) desk with beautiful and shiny Mac computer. Inside, I’m dancing like a happy clown.
My challenge today is finding events for the magazine’s October edition calendar, a double page spread near the front with events relating to the issue’s theme. October features Jo Frost (AKA Super Nanny), so the issue and calendar will be related to parenting and family life. Events such as National Walk to School Week, or National Milk Day (eww), to Disney’s Fantasia at the Royal Albert Hall and a trip to see Thomas the Tank Engine at Colne Valley Railway. My own words are going into these short dates, and I get rather egg-stravagent on the ‘British Egg Week’ slot. But they liked my style, and my words will be featured in the October issue. Plus, I am now a walking/talking events advisor for October 2012.
After a wonderful day of work, which feels amazingly natural and second nature to be working for a magazine firm at my own desk, I head to the tube station and take the Victoria line straight down to Brixton for another night of comedy. I’ve noticed during the last 24 hours of tube-travel particular London trends. Such as, the fact that several people are wearing bright orange nail varnish, even more people are wearing flip flops (which seem a little inappropriate for tube-travelling in my opinon), and just about everyone seems to be reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. One girl sat next to me slurps on some horrendous looking Mars bar-flavoured MacDonald’s concoction before putting the cup down next to her feet. Thanks to her, I spend the rest of the journey worrying that it might topple over and mars-flavoured cellulite will start glooping it’s way towards me.
Whilst waiting for my Aunt, I take a sit down in between my hectic London lifestyle for a well-earned fruit-pot and coffee. As an attempt to have a more personal relationship with their customers, Starbucks now write your name in marker on your takeout cup. However, even the best of plans have their flaws, as ‘Conni’ is the nearest attempt Starbucks have ever got to spelling my name correctly, even on the many occasions when I have spelt it out for them. I’ve even had ‘cone’ written on my cup before now. Spelling certainly isn’t their forte, but it’s definitely an attempt to be friendly and personal to each customer.
Another comedy night, although we spend too much time for my liking standing about in the queue outside (front line VIP of course). The sun’s out fortunately, but I swear the heels of my shoes are about to break through into my foot…
We return home at midnight after a long night of comedy, this time from Josie Long, Russell Kane, Judah Friedlander, and Rufus Hound, and I’m so tired I can barely manage a piece of smoked salmon before crawling into bed!
the crazy happenings in my life