Everyone loves to hear about everyone else's misfortune. Fact. And the ability to turn misfortune into a good series of hilarity and clown-acts makes it even more comical as you're actually giving the 'OK' sign for people to laugh.
So I'm going to attempt to make light of a very bad series of unfortunate events. My good karma seems to have run out - did I hoover up one too many spiders? Or pay back for all the tricks I played on my brothers in our younger years? And so misfortune has had a good go at hitting me from all angles in under a week. It started with a letter. I knew before opening it wouldn't be the best of letters... It came after a few house viewings, structure surveyors and then weeks of silence. WEEKS OF CONTENTMENT. And then the letter. Or 'letters' - as we all received one. Living contently, the perfect household, destroyed by the blow of a letter. Intrigue all built up yet? The house has been sold. I am absolutely DEVASTATED. This is coupled with working full-time at the restaurant this week to compensate for not-one-but-two staff on holiday, and my best friend going away for the next 2 years. All I can say, the silver lining to the thunder storm, is THANK GOD it's Friday. I feel emotionally and physically drained with all this stress. Just when I've got my next and final French exams. Words or sound effects cannot describe my utter frustration and... aggravation! I feel like King Kong beating his fists at the top of the Empire State Building, batting planes from the skies. Only in my story I'd be jumping up and down on the kitchen roof, beating my fists whilst making a bonfire out of the 'sold' sign which has taken obstinate standing at the front of our drive.
OK YOU CAN LAUGH. It's fine. I will allow you to give a splutter of disbelief and incredibility at my misfortune. Ok, let's stop laughing now. I lasted two months on the breath of good Karma and luck before crashing down like Apollo 13. I have to add it was a bloody good two months though!
So I spent the afternoon between work shifts searching for more house-rents, bewildered and lost between crazy, lonesome cat-lady's and a house which claimed to have two 99-year old's living. After a brief consideration of pitching up a tent at the bottom of the KES football field next to the garden, or moving into Tesco's 24/7-store cleaning cupboard, The Newby returned home and suggested if we could rent a flat together. *Jump up squealing, race around the room and do a crazy dance*- sorry, I mean, 'give a small completely NON-desperate smile' - and said that yes, of course, that would be a totally amazing idea and far better than crazy-cat ladies and nursing homes, and we should definitely look into it. Maybe misfortune is there just as that pinch to prove you're not dreaming... But head up, keep strong and don't let the bastards bring you down! (That's the spirit!)
the crazy happenings in my life